Journaling and list

I have been thinking for some time about what to write.  I have found myself both overwhelmed and underwhelmed.  I want to write beautiful prose, like Kellie, but that has never been my strong suit.  I want to write so that everyone can be transported back to a time of great memories with Grandma, but there are so many.  How does one chose just one?  And then I started to be concerned that maybe I couldn't remember that much.  Maybe I had lost all my "Virgie-isms."  But then I remember my notes from when I spoke at the funeral.  

I have chosen to share it here because would there ever be a better place?  Also, and I hope this is true, I pray that "my list"  will help spark some touching memories and thoughts about Grandma.  I hope that they can then be written down and shared.  I plan on elaborating on some of these things, but please feel free to do so as well.  

I was lucky enough to spend a lot of both my childhood and adulthood with her.  This is truly a blessing for me.  Some of you aren't able to say that.  Distance, life, and time it all plays a part.  But please feel free to share anything.  It doesn't matter how small or inconsequential it may seem or how big and grand.  Share it.  If anything, so you don't lose it later in life. 

This is what I wrote both as a journal type entry and as a helper for my talk.

 My heart breaks tonight. It has been breaking all week, but today has been the worst. Let's be honest. The last 7 days have been some of the hardest of my life. Virgie was taken to the hospital on Sunday. She was bad. She fell and couldn't get up, no strength. Apparently she hadn't been eating again. At the hospital they told Suzie to rally the troops; it didn't look good. That was last Monday. Having mom and dad call and tell me that, made everything feel sudden. I knew she was in the hospital, I had talked with Suzie that day. But nothing was made to sound so disconcerting. For the next week, she would seems better, then worse. Then on Friday, Stephanie called to tell me that Aunt Satsuki was struck by a car while crossing the street in Hawaii and died. Numb. Shock. Tears. Scared now for the trifecta effect. Death comes in threes. Someone told me that once and I have found it to be accurate. It must be. I later found out that day that Grandpa Bob's sister Evelyn also passed on Friday. Two. That's two thirds of the trifecta. I struggled to come to terms with Grandma's condition. I struggled to fight feelings of sadness, loss, disappointment, anger, and most of all understanding. Grandma hadn't had the best year. Thankfully we got to see her in April. She got to meet and play with the triplets. I have some great pictures. I was able to allow myself to think, seriously about losing her.

Grandma passed away today, October 29, 2012 at around 10:45AM Est. She was 79. I had been telling myself all weekend that she needed to return home. I did this to prepare my heart. But guess what? When a person only counts four individuals as their confidant and best friends and a grandma being one of them, you heart is never truly prepared. EVER. I have cried off and on for a week. I thought my tears were done. I was so wrong. Lying in bed tonight, watching coverage of the hurricane (Sandy) that is upon us in VA, so much flooded my mind.

Who can I call just to say hi? Who will call me randomly and say hi?

Aidan won't be getting anymore random packages of silly trinkets from his great grandma.

My pink lady is gone.

Boggle. Stupid boggle. Now this ridiculous game will forever hold a place in my heart.

Tea pots.

Pink lipstick.

Beautiful smile.

The way she tickles my arm/hand/neck.

Her beautiful skin.

I will have to shop for my own clothes.

Hearing stories of a bygone time. Memories. Lovely stories.

Updates on family members.

Classic black and white movies.

Lunches.

Scrabble. “Virgie house rules”

Bickering between her and grandpa

Fibber McGee and Molly and other radio classics

Sleepovers.

Sunday dinners

Breakfasts

Mounds chocolate bars.

Mincemeat cookies.

Christmas casserole

Game shows and QVC and british comedies

Drives

Jude Deveraux and Debbie Macomber

Her cane.

Chantilly Lace

Pink Carnations

Palmolive

Star/Rambling Roads

Aidan's best buddy

Bananas

Word searches

Goolash

Day trips to Preston for lotto tickets

Cornish Game hens

Valentines day cards with dollies

Run to Grandma's house for the weekend during teenage years

Sweet smile

Complimenting strangers

Road trips (Oregon, Oregon/California, St. George, Lots to Idaho)

Always finding an old friend on trips

Going to restuarants and seemingly difficult orders, but people loved her

Always available for rides for doctors appts, babysitting or visiting

She loved Club and getting her hair done

Always had random weird food items in her home

My go to person for advice on family, diabetes,

Always seemed to be willing to give you the answer you want :-)

Drawing pictures and painting

Sacrament meeting when I was younger

Necco treats

Eucalyptus candies

Aidan and his noise makers

Buying fun groceries just for me and Aidan

Used book stores

First bears for all the kids, grand kids

Never happy with her church outfit

 Grandma and Grandpa celebrating 

their 60th wedding anniversary in 

Preston, ID

Now its your turn.  What do you remember?  What do you miss?  What is your "Virgie-ism?"
Katie